I know you’re feeling like it’s falling apart and it can’t go on anymore
But God is a God who knows how to heal so just give it up to the Lord
And He will restore
Today’s post is definitely a post that makes me feel quite vulnerable to be this real online, but it’s time for me stop trying to make everything appear perfect online. The perfect outfit, the perfect fashion advice, the perfect verse to go with what I’ve written, the perfect quote, the perfect relationship. I’m not perfect, so why should my posts read perfectly. Many of you may know I am no longer engaged. Does this make me qualified to write a post on A God Fashioned Relationship Restored. Definitely, not because we are still working on it. But have I sure learned a lot in this process and clung to God more than ever in my life, yes. I’ve hesitated to write about the fact that I wasn’t getting married in December, but I think it’s time, because it’s time to be vulnerable.
But first I want to tell you why I’m doing ok now. Was I crushed at first? Yes, beyond crushed. But do I know that God has a better plan? Yes. I’m doing ok, today because God is so good and I’ve clung to His plan. God longs for relationships to be restored and I believe that is the plan that He has for me currently. And if that’s not the plan that he has for us, then I pray that we’ll know sooner than later.
We are imperfect people. Brene Brown author of Daring Greatly says it best, “You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” As you enter into a relationship, engagement, and marriage you are then imperfect with another person. Two people without God will never make a perfect marriage. God plus two people = A cord of three strands that isn’t quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12).
Growing up my mom would always give the poem Marriage Takes Three based off of Ecclesiastes 4:12 to couples getting married. I Googled the poem to include it in today’s post, but couldn’t find the exact version she always used. I’ve never fully understood why she put it on cards, etc., but I finally, fully get the meaning of it. God must be placed first in the relationship and God must be at the center of your covenant. It doesn’t work when you place the other person above God or you above the other person.
I’ve been reading Jesus > Religion by Jefferson Bethke which I’ll sum up in another post, but this quote fits perfectly with the true meaning of covenant love.
“Covenant love is a love that implies deep commitment and promise. It’s not based on feelings or on the other person’s actions but on the initiating person’s good pleasure. God loves because he is love. He doesn’t love us because we are lovable. There is a difference. The idea of covenant has long been seen in many of our most precious relationships. Sadly, some of them have completely eroded. Consider the marriage relationship. Because of selfishness we no longer to promise to be with someone until we die. We might say, “Until death do us part,” but what we really mean, “Until you stop satisfying or fulfilling me.” Of course we’d never admit it, but the divorce rates say enough. Divorce has become normal. Rather than love being an action of self-will and commitment, we’ve turned it into a shallow emotion whose absence warrants separation….
Other excellent posts and a quote from each:
- “Because marriage is more than a readymade “yes” or a Pinterest inspired, envy-inducing wedding.” -What It Really Means To Say I Do – Relevant Magazine
- “…we need to look at our relationships and start thinking about what it means to marry our significant others. It’s about time we stop getting #engaged so we can finally go back to being engaged.” -On getting #engaged – Converge Magazine
- “Of course, every relationship is made up of two broken, sinful people. You don’t have to be perfect, but there are things you will have to work through before you can have a healthy relationship.” -10 Signs Your Relationship Is In Trouble – Relevant Magazine
- “Because I don’t want a relationship that’s smooth and wrinkle free. I want a relationship that’s strong because of the things we’ve endured, and the love we’ve fought for in the moments when it was the hardest.” -I Thought Finding My Husband Would Be Easy – The Lipstick Gospel